I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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