Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
