but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
