i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
