New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
