real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize