You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize