You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
