and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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