plz talk dirty to me
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
