You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize
