I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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