if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
