Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i think i have herpe
just one?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
is it fun? or sober?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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