You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Randomize
