god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
