just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Randomize
