I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
