Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
