my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
operation harelip BJ is a go
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
