Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
