Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
