What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
