There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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