You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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