Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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