There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
