its not stalking. its research.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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