you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
