Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
