I heard we made out
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
