If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
