I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
