Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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