Can Purell be used as lube?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Randomize
