Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
