Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
