Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
