Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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