so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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