Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
