I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Randomize
