Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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