I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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