Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
