I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
