Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
try to milk me bitch
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