as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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