I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Randomize
