Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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