I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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