just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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