I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Houston, we have a squirter
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
