tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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