so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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