I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
