y did u give ur computer a hand job?
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
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