I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
